I don't believe in marriage...so how about making this official?

When you date, you meet all sorts of interesting people.  I dated a guy who, in the span of one date, managed to say the stuff in the title.  Needless to say, I knew that he was going to make me very unhappy in the future, if not now.

One standard that I have kept for myself is that if I date someone who treats weddings like funerals, immediately a switch turns on in my head that tries to come up with the best way to break up with the person.  It only makes sense that commitment ought to grow in a relationship, and attachment anchors it; if there's no desire to commit and no emotional availability, then the inevitable problem of being attached to the wrong person will loom over.  Personally, I'd like to think that I have a future with the guy I'm with, even if the future is just another date or another promise to meet, a phone call, or a ring.  If the thought of marriage (no matter how ridiculously early it is) never crossed my mind with the guy, then he's either not right for me to marry or just not right at all.  It can work the opposite way: if somebody is emotionally unavailable or unwilling to commit in the form of marriage, chances are it's because it's not the right partner or because he or she is really messed up.  

"We'll have no future together, it'll be great."  Yeah, right.  

I don't mean to come down hard on noncommitals who date, but if they get close and then pull away, it's out of fear or total malice.  Those who are scared should've spent more time mustering enough courage before ever venturing out into the world of dating and all its ugliness.

I mean, it's great to get this out in the open, if someone's just dating for fun and games, and not looking for a good person to marry.  Thing is, they're only good for the short-term, and those dating for the long-term should make it a point to keep it short with these people.  It's for their own damn good.  Nothing's more insulting than someone who speaks in contradictions...it makes everybody else associated with them seem just as hypocritical and stupid.  So please, please know what you want in a relationship (if long-term or just dating around) and find someone else that matches that.  

Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch...

I love watching movies like "You've Got Mail" and musicals like "She Loves Me."  Actually, those two are based off of "Shop Around the Corner."  It's about two peple who hate each other at work but are actually corresponding with each other unknowingly.  Eventually they get together in the end.  Then, as the viewer, I think, "I knew those two would get together!"  It's like watching a matchmaker's concoctions brew perfectly.

Then, of course, I think of everything that could go wrong and am reminded of a wonderful movie called "Clueless."  Cher tries to set people up with each other and it blows up in her face.  It's like playing God with other people's feelings and happiness, and frankly, that's too much responsibility.

So what's this compulsion that attached people have to set up their single friends?  Is it a compulsion to meddle with other's people's lives in an effort to make them happy?

Perhaps there's a sort of selfishness to it.  Just imagining all the 'couple' things the prospectively paired friend can now join in can make couples want to set up single friends.  Or it's a way to bond and have something to talk about: "Hey, so how are things with (person I introduced to you)?"

And most of all, it's an entertaining time-killer, like watching a movie where you feel like a good friend is going to be happy in the end, and you're lucky enough to witness firsthand the happy process unfold one step at a time.

Who's the lucky one?

It all started when my cousin brought his girlfriend over to meet his extended family for the first time.  When she found out that my dad was the eldest uncle, she went over to my dad and told him, "I'm very lucky to have met Raymond."  I could swear my dad choked on his food from laughter.  

But to end that story, they're getting married next week, and I can honestly say that she really is lucky to have my cousin, someone who is definitely sticking around by her side through thick and thin.  Best wishes to them!

That leads me to the tiny in-joke I have with my best friend.  Based on that anecdote above, spotting who the lucky one in the relationship has come to mean whom we think is the lesser one in the relationship.  Obviously, anybody would be lucky to have a catch.  The lucky one is the one who could not find anybody better than the catch they have now.  It's a double edged sword to call somebody lucky in a relationship, since one is up on a pedestal and the other is just above.  

Speaking of which, I wondered who the lucky one in my relationship was.  For a while I was a bit iffy about telling him whom I thought the lucky one in our relationship was, even though I had a feeling I knew how he'd answer.  Then, earlier today, I told him whom I thought was the lucky one:

"What I wanted to tell you was that...I think I'm the lucky one."
"Oh, I beg to differ.  I think I'm the lucky one."

Aww, we both feel that we're lucky to have each other.  Then again, I had thought that all along.  There's no lie about that.