Indulging in Sappiness

For someone who isn't sappy by nature, this is quite odd, unusual and quite embarrassing actually. But the song lyrics that I have stuck in my head are about the same thing, falling when your head has had you believing otherwise your whole life.

"I Can't Believe My Heart" sung by Susan Egan

I've always thought that men were slime
And every guy I've met has proved me right,
until tonight...

Just when I thought
I had it figured
that life's a game you cannot win
He comes in and changes all the rules

What I've been taught
I learned the hard way
That life and love are never just
And if you trust you're just one of the fools

And now I can't believe my heart
Is saying "don't resist him"
That I've been on my guard too long

I can't believe my heart
surrendered when I kissed him
And told me all I thought I knew
as "sad but true" is wrong

If life is worth the disappointment
I haven't seen one reason yet
Until I met the boy who smiles for free

Upon this earth, there's no one like him
he sees the girl I long to be
Making even me believe in me

And now I can't believe my heart
Has overcome my senses
to help me see that he's the prize

I can't believe my heart
says "tear down all your fences"
that everything you wanted more
is right before your eyes

I can't believe my heart
Could be so wise

Leaving well enough alone

It's the same as agreeing to disagree. And sometimes, it's the best thing to do. Case in point: should you pop a pimple?

I don't know if it's a gendered concept to be the one who tries to makes things better, since girls can also be the ones who try to bring things back to the way they were. Or maybe I'm just being a smart girl who believes that it's impossible to be friends with an ex because it'll give my incredibly stupid heart some false hope. I don't talk to anybody whom it doesn't work out with, even though it is tempting to call them as if everything's cool. Because it's not. That's the truth, and heaven knows if it will change in due time. In Sex and the City, Miranda Hobbes is a lawyer. In her record, she's a pragmatic woman who cannot be friends with exes. The one person she remained friends with as an ex is the one she ended up marrying. The one who wants things to be okay after a breakup still wants something, whether it's to get back together or some harmony. And there are times when smart girls know that neither is impossible for their stupid hearts.

To go back to my original concept, is it the dumpers who feel that things have to be okay and thus try to say hi or make small talk with their exes? Being on the receiving end, it's not okay. Ideally, I'd have a world where I would never have to see him again. I'd feel like a fool if I ever smiled at him again and re-fed all those neural pathways that used to make me happy or wildly obssessed just thinking about him. Oh, it's embarrassing alright. To think that someone like him made me happy. I'd like to forget. Just like how a smoker should avoid liquor stores and club scenes and parties if they're trying to quit, a spurned lover must get rid of the reminders. And for the dumpers? You dumped them, so you should expect NOTHING. Live with it, because the dumped have been trying so hard to live with it ever since.