The success-singlehood correlation

Who's heard this before: "If you go to graduate school, then good luck finding a man."

I've run the gamut of emotions and reactions to that sort of concept, committing myself to a callous attitude toward relationships and even expressing strong aversion by committing myself to be at least one woman who will have career and the love of a good man. Sometimes I still sit and worry about how many friends I'll lose and how many relationships that I'll miss out on if I do so much as go to law school. Bottom line: I think it's somewhat true and somewhat false.

Why I think it's somewhat true:
Women who pursue careers eventually begin to fit a certain mold that may or may not work for their relationships. It can range to a change in attitude to a change in looks and age. For example, after devoting so many years to climbing to the top of her career, before she knows it she's already 40 and still pining for a child. I mean, she still has hope, but the chances get slimmer as time goes by; when you're older, you're pretty much banking on luck. Chances are, one no longer has her looks, her pretty face, and is probably out of touch with using body language. Desperation can set in, and it's very transparent even in the way they sit across from their date at the dinner table.
Is success intimidating? Certainly. Success becomes one of many things a person can use to judge your character before you even say a word or flash a smile. The clothes a professional wears, the car she drives, the place she lives in can all convey an "out of your league" picture. Perhaps her professional demeanor gives off this unsettling aloofness that scares a guy into never asking her out, let alone saying hi. And what if he does end up with this accomplished catch? Can he keep his ego intact when she takes charge?
It's not necessarily success itself that repels people, but the connotations it carries with it.

Why I think it's false:
It's just a correlation. Success does NOT directly cause singlehood. Repeat after me. Success does NOT directly cause singlehood. Nor does singlehood cause success. And do not rule out that other factors cause singlehood, because they do (shitty partners, bad luck anyone?). There are guys out there that truly believe that ambition and success are attractive, but humor me here and rule out golddiggers in this paragraph. The kind of men who like brains are just as dynamic in personality, men who like a challenge and who want to grow. They understand the risk of being dominated by a woman (especially if she has proof that she has dominated before), but that's okay, even welcome! It's because they want a partner. Here's the secret: yes their egos can cringe at the sight of a seemingly commanding woman, which is why their actions may not line up with the "brains and success are hot" saying. No amount of courage will make it any easier for a man to approach that kind of woman unless she plays up her indicators of interest.

Success is a predator that preys on the insecurities of individuals and places other people on the defensive. It's like the prize trophy that shadows all who don't possess it. It can be a wall, but it can be overcome; in fact, one must resist the temptation to hide behind it, because it has enormous potential to hinder and block off one's love life.

Sucessful women truly are catches. Many of them don't believe it, and that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. To the women out there: don't let success stop you. If anything, it's plenty more reason to walk with your chin parallel to the floor. Show that you don't need a man (because you don't), but that you want one.

Leading a person...out the window of the second floor

I only know one entity that actually does that, and it's called The Winchester House in California.  It's this nonsensical house that has stairs leading people up straight into the ceiling, and doors that lead right outside of the house on the second floor.  It scares people, and probably instills regret to some visitors of the house.

So what do the bizarre features of this house have anything to do with dating?  Plenty, considering that doors that could cause you to fall one story are just as painful and infuriating as being led on.  It's unnecessary pain and grief.  

That being said, how do you know if you're leading somebody on?

If you are a guy, chances are it would be blatantly obvious because guys are expected to initiate most things.  He's the one expected to do the chasing, the asking out, initiating the physical contact, etc.  It's a more proactive role to take on.  He could choose not to call and that's already the message in and of itself.  When a guy is leading somebody on, he continues to actively do the things that build attachment.  This is a lot different for women, however.

When women are accused of leading a guy on, it's because just dropping him doesn't cut it.  
When she goes along with it, it tends to be more passive, as opposed to actively asking out.  
It doesn't take much to be chased, so allowing a chase to continue can be so much as not lifting a finger.
Problematic much?

Overall, guilt is a good indicator of leading someone on.  If nothing's working, then a different approach must be taken in indicating disinterest.  The tables turn and the roles reverse when there's disinterest: men become passive and stop taking the lead, and women have to be more active and state their disinterest.  It's not always successful because a man's disinterest tempts a woman to goad him along and makes him even more unsure of his feelings toward her.  And we all know what happens when a guy does not take no for an answer.

Sometimes it's inadvertent.  It's still hurtful all around when at least one party doesn't know what they want and just continue to date the same person aimlessly.  It's morally less heinous than dating for supremely selfish reasons and throwing respect out the window, but it's still hurtful.  So it'd be good to know how to prevent that too.  Be sure of your feelings.  Your future partner will appreciate it greatly when you can identify and articulate your feelings to them, so it's a good habit to have.  Can't do it yourself?  That's why you have a support network.  As annoying as it can be to be teased by my girlfriends about how the date went, I realize that in telling them, I'm also letting myself know if I'm really starting to like the guy.

Or if it's time to cut my losses and to warn him to watch his step.