Tell Me

There was a time this song embodied my frustration, but now when I try to play it I crack up at the thought of trying to think of the guy who made me feel that way.

But what I ask of you readers is if you believe that there is such thing as closure. A professor of mine started off the class saying that there just isn't. It explains why you keep finding different reasons whenever you revisit and reanalyze trauma in your life. The only thing one can be certain of it what transpired and how it made them feel.

Personally, seeking for closure isn't useless, as long as it brings you somewhere new. Sometimes it's time wasted when the lesson or moral you learn is one that was presented to you before. Or maybe you're just not meant to get over it. Many live with "what could've been." And eventually it hardly bothers them.

I'll never find out why he hurt me like that. It's a fact. There are either too many possible reasons, and too little of what he really meant reaching my understanding. There are times I really wish I knew, because the only thing I could be certain of down that road is what I did to screw it all up. It's never his explanation there to straighten things out, and maybe he didn't have all the answers either. The best thing is just to move on and "let it go with your goodbye."


Tell Me sung by Joey Albert

There are nights when I can't help but cry
And I wonder why you had to leave me

Why did it have to end so soon?
When you said that you would never leave me

Tell me,
Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to make you change your mind completely?

When I thought this love would never end
But if this love's not ours to have
I'll let it go with your goodbye

Marry for love

I've been thoroughly convinced how much love has got to be the most important reason for getting married. It's love that makes the tears of joy flow at wedding ceremonies, and it's love that warms up any trip down memory lane.

My great-aunt is like any other lola who loves to tell stories. I care about and respect her enough to stick around and listen. For someone who's so intelligent and perhaps a bit too smart for this world, she tells me to marry for love. So many stories I've heard of people who did not marry for love within my own family, and it explains every hidden crack within my family's makeup.

How hard must it be to keep this solemn vow to marry for love and nothing else? To not settle for the good friend who shares no chemistry with me, nor to settle for the man who can take care of me financially but never emotionally? Oh yeah, it'll be tough to not be another one of those stories of what could've been.

I am a slutty drunk

I've somewhat known that about me for quite a while, but it's only recently that I've begun to start acting on it. Lately, I've been making out with strangers at parties, and have even held the reins in taking it far as I want to. Thing is, as drunk as I was, "as far as I want to" stopped short of sex. What I say is hard to believe, but I'm ready to admit it.

So, when I'm drunk, I'm loud, extremely chatty, and physically slowed. I also laugh at lots of things. Thing is, my mind's still sharp as a tack so I tend to try to have intelligent conversations as well, with some slurred speech. I'm definitely not prudish.

But what sucks is that I can't "hook up" so easily. The men that pick me up at parties always want to see me again beyond that party. "Slutty catch" is indeed an oxymoron, because a catch is sometimes elusive and not readily available, and a slut tends to make lots of breaks from people they hope to not see for a long time. A catch can't afford to come off as slutty because she will attract the wrong kind of men who, from the beginning, already have an untrue perception of her. Eclectic social skills are a must, whether it's successfully getting a guy to leave you alone without any means of future contact or trying to keep your hands to yourself while trying to verbally entice a stranger.