What's a "cool girl?"

A friend of mine who meant to give me big brotherly advice, told me that if I want to get a guy to like me initially, I just have to "be a cool girl." So what exactly is a cool girl?

Ask however many guys, and you'll get however many responses. But there are common threads in what guys find "cool" in a girl. Some things are just unexplained, like eating/ordering meat in their presence. That's supposed to be cool. Otherwise, it boils down to the big C: confidence. A cool girl doesn't let her hang-ups boil to the surface and kill the mood. A cool girl wouldn't even bother to fuss about her looks in the presence of the one she's trying to impress. As far as I'm concerned, a cool girl isn't constrained by social mores on what a proper girl is, so long as she plans on having a good time and being easygoing with whomever is in her company. The reason why there are however many ways to describe a cool girl is because it doesn't really matter what she looks like or what affirmative acts she does to attract people; she just is.

Now there's something very zen about being a cool girl; after all, a cool girl is just is. All you have to do is believe it deep down. Believe and your actions and words will follow.

Being emotionally capable for a relationship

It's been said that being a partner means being responsible for somebody else's feelings. And all the nice things of a relationship includes being able to open up to one person, making it a very fulfilling experience. At the same time, this is exactly the part of relationships that require the most work in order to maintain happiness.

At the risk of making sweeping generalizations, women usually understand the lay of the land a lot better than men when it comes to emotions. To men, emotions are a minefield. Women can see the traps a mile away. Chances are, as a woman you've been encouraged to share and talk about your feelings, whereas as a man you've been taught to repress them. In other words, she's had plenty of practice and would pretty much have an excellent understanding of emotions. Or so she'd like to believe.

Can you imagine expecting a 10-year-old girl to be emotionally capable of a relationship? capable of life? Inexperience plagues every newcomer to the world of romantic relationships, and it's safe to say that inexperience is the reason fights become screaming matches, how molehills become mountains, and how nearly every negative relationship encounter is exaggerated in difficulty. Man or woman, anybody can be guilty of not being able to control their emotions in a relationship.

To bring it back, my point is just because one is a woman doesn't mean she's got the emotional capability to handle herself in a relationship. Yes she may be more aware and more adept at identifying emotions, and probably able to get her emotions across, but can she do that well enough to teach it? After all, being able to teach something implies mastery of the topic, and when it comes to relationships, being able to be emotionally capable means being able to teach their partner how to see conflicts in the relationship for what they really are, how to talk things through, and how to give emotions (one's or the other's) the attention they crave without hurting the other person.

Being able to successfully take responsibility for another's feelings means being able to do more than be responsible for your own feelings.