He loves me, he loves me not...how can I know for sure?!
When I started digging deep for some tunes to exercise to, I've noticed a lot of 80s dance pop songs were about the woman guessing whether the guy loves her, whether he's into her, and how badly she wants to know. Look at Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know" and Taylor Dayne's "Tell It to My Heart," for example.
So let's look at when the sexual revolution was taking place in the Western world. It was a period of liberation where it became more mainstream and sex was less of a taboo topic taking place from the 1960s towards the 1980s. Contraception was more accepted and made readily available without as much stigma as it did before, and innuendo to suggest anything sexual started popping up on television sets (things like a single bed for a married couple, for example). It's all fine and dandy, a giant step in the right direction, right?
There's a flip side to this liberation as the 1980s came around. With the changing attitudes come norms that must change and conform to it. Sure, women can be a little more forward when it comes to dating, BUT there's a tradeoff. If she makes the first move, she'll never know for certain if he's truly into her.
For something seemingly small and insipid as a pop song or two or three, there were songwriters that seek to encapsulate what a lot of newly liberated women are experiencing: the doubt and the guessing of whether they've found someone who will pine for them and truly love them no matter what. There is no way around to finding true love, no matter how much society changes.
This is especially pronounced in college campuses where a hookup culture dominates and women outnumber the men. It's a place where love is too risky to pursue, pursuing a person because you're genuinely interested in them and genuinely interested in romance with them. Sadly enough, when there is a disproportionate amount of females for every male, the only way to get a guy's attention it to literally throw yourself at him to make anything happen. That effectively makes the "man's job" a total misnomer, which means that he doesn't have to do anything, let alone anything to express genuine interest in a lady. This is unfortunate because women have no emotional security whatsoever, and leaves them open to being used and tossed aside very easily.
Needless to say, being used is the last thing women want to be. So it's a common, widespread feeling to wonder if he's falling just as hard as she is for him, and whether it's okay to start freely falling in love. My solution to not having that problem of guessing his feelings it to avoid it in the first place. Waiting is not fun at all, especially in this day and age where women are taught to go after anything they want and just get it for themselves. But love does not work that way; you can't just buy, hurry or just take love off a shelf and have it for yourself, so stick to what has worked for everybody's ancestors since the dawn of time, where all women had to do to ultimately propagate the species was just sit and wait for a mating partner and that was that.
Stay guarded, and wait for the signs; a sure sign is that he makes the first move, whatever it is. If you already called or contacted him first, that's fine. Just disappear for a while, don't contact, and wait and see what he does when you disappear. His behavior, his actions speak much louder than his words, and that, is how you know if he really loves you. Then he will tell it to your heart, tell you you're the only one, that it's really love and not just a game.
So let's look at when the sexual revolution was taking place in the Western world. It was a period of liberation where it became more mainstream and sex was less of a taboo topic taking place from the 1960s towards the 1980s. Contraception was more accepted and made readily available without as much stigma as it did before, and innuendo to suggest anything sexual started popping up on television sets (things like a single bed for a married couple, for example). It's all fine and dandy, a giant step in the right direction, right?
There's a flip side to this liberation as the 1980s came around. With the changing attitudes come norms that must change and conform to it. Sure, women can be a little more forward when it comes to dating, BUT there's a tradeoff. If she makes the first move, she'll never know for certain if he's truly into her.
For something seemingly small and insipid as a pop song or two or three, there were songwriters that seek to encapsulate what a lot of newly liberated women are experiencing: the doubt and the guessing of whether they've found someone who will pine for them and truly love them no matter what. There is no way around to finding true love, no matter how much society changes.
This is especially pronounced in college campuses where a hookup culture dominates and women outnumber the men. It's a place where love is too risky to pursue, pursuing a person because you're genuinely interested in them and genuinely interested in romance with them. Sadly enough, when there is a disproportionate amount of females for every male, the only way to get a guy's attention it to literally throw yourself at him to make anything happen. That effectively makes the "man's job" a total misnomer, which means that he doesn't have to do anything, let alone anything to express genuine interest in a lady. This is unfortunate because women have no emotional security whatsoever, and leaves them open to being used and tossed aside very easily.
Needless to say, being used is the last thing women want to be. So it's a common, widespread feeling to wonder if he's falling just as hard as she is for him, and whether it's okay to start freely falling in love. My solution to not having that problem of guessing his feelings it to avoid it in the first place. Waiting is not fun at all, especially in this day and age where women are taught to go after anything they want and just get it for themselves. But love does not work that way; you can't just buy, hurry or just take love off a shelf and have it for yourself, so stick to what has worked for everybody's ancestors since the dawn of time, where all women had to do to ultimately propagate the species was just sit and wait for a mating partner and that was that.
Stay guarded, and wait for the signs; a sure sign is that he makes the first move, whatever it is. If you already called or contacted him first, that's fine. Just disappear for a while, don't contact, and wait and see what he does when you disappear. His behavior, his actions speak much louder than his words, and that, is how you know if he really loves you. Then he will tell it to your heart, tell you you're the only one, that it's really love and not just a game.
posted by Dawn at 9:09 PM
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