All so sudden

That's all I can say to describe what happened today. I honestly don't remember when someone approaches me like we've met before. And he said he remembers me griping about the rain in the De Neve elevator. That helped a little bit, at least I remember me truly griping about the rain. His name is James, I'm Dawn, cool. He lives on the fourth floor, I tenth. Then I have lunch with Jennifer and her friend Pinky. It's all in the back of my head when I talk to Jess at De Neve before she has to go to Phy Sci class, and he waves hi to me. Then I practice at Sproul for about an hour. Somewhere in the time between beginning to practice and English Comp 3 class I start to wonder: is he James Datu from Cathedral High? I just heard that name so often..."Oh let's wait for Datu before we start the first PIE meeting." I go to the PIE meeting, learn about time management, get my ass kicked in foosball, and go to Tinig. It's so cool, a voice performance major teaching the group how to sing correctly. And guess who's there. James seems to be everywhere I go. That's perfect, since I wanted to ask if he's Datu. I came late to the Tinig meeting, but at the end, every member was about to be put on the spot by using everything they just learned to sing one pitch perfectly and making it project to God knows where. It was called "calling the moose over." Time constraints only made few people "call the moose" but I wanted to try in front of everybody to see if everything I learned a long time ago worked. I was a little nervous, but I tried, and realized I totally lost the concept of the head voice. I am NOT a soprano. But I pulled it off. So everyone was leaving, and I still had yet to ask him the question. So yes, he IS James Datu from Cathedral who knows Irwin, Daniel, Chuck, Albert, etc. Just when I thought I'd be heading for the dorms, he asks me if I wanna learn to breakdance at Wooden. I go about my usual brief indecisiveness, and end up skipping dinner by saying yes. He was on the phone often, and the topics of conversation were quite fishy; something about letting the guy on the other line sabotage his girlfriend. While we were waiting for a room, we talk about random stuff, about how he's been breakdancing for a while and how I play the piano better than I can sing. Funny thing how no one knows Brian Tran, the object of my former affections for which I am so embarrassed about. When his group found a room to practice, I'm too shy to try, and think about heading to De Neve. When I do tell him, he says I have to at least do the 3-step and some other move. With a little help from Rhommel (whom I've known previously) I get it down...eventually. When I actually do leave, everyone says bye and he gives me a hug, a little more than casual. Going back to the dorms, I kept calling Max, but he doesn't answer his phone. Now I'm worried that as much as I try not to think anything of all this, it's just impossible to put it out of mind.

How do things compound further? By answering this question: Who shall I go to homecoming with?

When anyone can see it

It's really scary that anyone can see that David is interested. I mean, even Hai was convinced when he went to Sproul with me. I meant to try out some piano pieces that maybe he'd like to play for his friend on her birthday, and that's really sweet of him. I reccommended he played My Immortal by Evanescense because it's easier. But anyways, he really didn't play the piano all that much, and I know David was in the next room, because I don't hear any piano playing when I started practicing my Mozart and Chopin. He knocks on our door, says hi and everything, and said hi to Hai too. Maybe he felt like he interrupted something. Oh, and get this, he knows Jackie! Awesome, I figured because they're on the same floor of the same res hall. But yeah, the fact that he stopped by on our music room even convinced Hai, who knew very little of the whole situation.

What's even worse? I still feel more inclined to call Max, but once again, I'm too nervous to do so.

Rieber Chronicles continued

I don't see him until I'm waiting around for a ride to Samahang Pilipino's Black and White party at the Santa Monica Pier. He just got out of a car and immediately walks to Rieber. Yeah, that was him, but once again, I'm always too shy to say hi. Makes me appear suplada. Then again, I'm hardly recognizable with makeup on. Even funnier, the next day when my parents pick me up for the weekend, we eat at Covel for lunch and then go home. David was there again, sitting with friends, and did look at me. I wanted to say hi, but my parents are there and stuff like that (oh yeah, excuses excuses). About a week or two later (actually yesterday) he gets ahold of my screen name and happened to facebook me. But there's a catch. I'm single, he's not. His girlfriend is filipino too. I'm not disheartened, but I guess it's gotta hurt. He would like to meet up with me at Sproul...

What's going on in my head about this? This is what I really wonder: Am I even capable of being the girl a guy cheats on his significant other with?

The Rieber Chronicles

Ooh, this one's gonna be lengthy. So I'll do it in segments and add more when I feel like it. So...whom should I start with? I don't think it's a real "There's Something About Dawn" situation, but it somewhat seems like it on the surface. Okay, at orientation, I just start a conversation with Ted from my OC group. Afterwards, he goes out of his way to say hi and sit and have meals with me. He had breakfast with me and Jess and that's when she started to think that maybe he seems...iono. So that's when he adds me as a friend on the facebook and talks to me on AIM. After the New Student Convocation during Week 0, he did go out of his way to say hi again. He still says hi from time to time, particularly when I'm in the Court of Sciences, out of Chem lecture, while he's out of Math class. Almost always goes to the Bombshelter in the South Campus with friends, glad to know he's leading his own life. My action: I leave it to what it is.
Incident number 2...I want to practice the piano at Sproul, and I go during Week 0 with Jess. When I do play, I draw a crowd that leaves at a sensible hour. All of them leave except a "groupie" named David. I am asked to play random things until I am completely tapped out of pieces I've played from off the top of my head. He stays with me and Jess until 2am. Yeah, you can imagine what that must've meant. When we head back to our dorms, Jess tells me, "He was into you! He was staring at you the whole time, and that's you in a man's shirt and not your best." I'm scared. So much that when he saw me and said hi to me at Diddy Riese I immediately diverted my attention to talking to Jess and Sara. Then I felt bad, like I just blew him off. After a while, I don't see him...

UCLA vs. San Diego State = fate

It all started at orientation before the Carpe Noctum scavenger hunt. Jess was talking to this guy, about how he liked the spanish language and asked Jess to say something romantic. I arrive and before I know it, I'm talking to him about the music major and really unusual things, like the controversy the tritone interval had back in the Middle Ages, and rhythms. He knew the 3 against 2 rhythm, but I knew 4 against 3, and he asked me how it goes. Since there were no flat surfaces, we were tapping it out on our chests. Very "unique," but Jess kinda saw it as chemistry. But he didn't end up in my scavenger hunt group (hence not our new circle), and before that he talked to an ethnomusicology major. That was the last I saw of him at orientation, and yet I didn't say bye on the last day. Still, I had yet to mention Mozart's unusual way of selecting musical phrases in his compositions by means of rolling dice. Oh, and I didn't say bye because I was with my parents and he was around a lot of other people. There was still so much to talk to him about.I debated with myself, wondering if I was beginning to develop a crush, and even asked Jess about it. She denied it and must've thought I was considering nonsense, because it looked like only a good friendship at that point to her. Week 0 at UCLA and I'm doing what someone does when their close one dies: see them everywhere. Back when the prank fire drill happened (Monday, Monday of My Life blog), I could've sworn I saw him, but I didn't want to go up and ask because I was in a sheer shirt with no bra in freezing temperature...yeah. Jess asked the guy for me, and I was relieved to know that I didn't ask if he was whom I could've sworn he was, because it wasn't him. I think that was about the time Jess started believing that it's a genuine, bona fide interest that I had. Another time was the New Student Convocation. Everyone does a mass exodus from Pauley Pavilion over near the Janss steps. Of course, I look for several people myself, and another sighting. This time I really thought it was him, and wanted to say hi, but I can admit, I was wholly shy this time, not to mention barricaded by a heap of other people. Seeing him again stays in the back of my mind, but nevertheless bothers me. Jess tells me of any connections he may have to anyone we know, but I don't ask.Finally, the title gains its relevance. I was a little upset at having to wait for Jess at Union Station because we were as good as late to the UCLA vs. San Diego State football game. We go up to the 65th row in gate 7 of the Rose Bowl, and there's this guy, sitting alone, eating barbeque and watching the game. Now it's a serious itch. None of this, "oh it might not be him." The similarities to the best of my memory match this one who sat in the same row, minding his own business in an unusually taciturn manner: softer facial features, curly blond hair. I tell Jess about how it's really eating at me to go up and ask, and she advises me to do so. Shyness kicks in once again, until I do get up and ask, "You seem awfully familiar...you are a UCLA student right?"
"yeah."
"What's your major?"
"Music"
"Clarinet performance?"
"yeah-"
"Max?!"
"I kinda remember you too, I just don't remember your name and how I remember you."
"I'm Dawn." The next few words remind me of Cinderella (the version with Brandy)"I have a feeling I've seen you before...are you in Hedrick?"
"No, I'm in Dykstra."
"Then where do I remember your face?"
"Before Carpe Noctum, I was trying to teach you the 4 against 3 rhythm?"
"Oh yeah, which reminds me, how does it go again?"
From that I do mention Mozart's rolling dice for his compositions, and how I grew up learning Bach. He burned out from Mozart, and that's why he likes to deviate away from the classical style. And to prevent the anxiety that I previously felt, I got his number. Maybe sometime I'll get to have lunch with him, spare him having to wait until Hedrick to eat. Or better yet, maybe watch an opera or two...or three. As much as I hate how things are because of this, I also know how happy I should be. It's cute that Jess teases me about it, and the breathless anticipation that comes with the idea of finally getting to speak with someone you can talk about the most esoteric objects with. And all this from that fateful mishap to the Rose Bowl.