Liberation

I was told that you know you're doing the wrong thing when you ask for a break and are sobbing your eyes out immediately after. That means it's not what your heart wants, and it may not even be what's right for you at that moment.

A break is used and done well when you don't feel heavy-hearted, but relieved. You sort it out, and see if your relationship is still worth a go or if it's irreparable beyond recognition. And this will be a unique perspective: you outside of your relationship looking in.

That's the litmus test. If you're bawling as you're proposing a break, that's a sign that maybe that's not the right thing to consider. Maybe your feelings don't think the breakup is okay. And maybe it's the fear of actually losing them that holds you back. But if in your heart of hearts, you really do believe that the break is the way to go, by all means. If you need your space, ask for it and take it. But you should ask for a break, and stand your ground. If you can't, then that's not the solution.

Should you decide to take a break from the relationship, it's like introducing a new clause of the contract, or creating a new contract altogether. You have to create terms that both of you will agree on, such as length of the break, the level of communication during the break, and how faithful you two will remain to each other.

Taking a break is scary. It's when you realize how many factors of your relationship are out of your control. It can send you in a panic, or you can subject yourself to the test. You want to be optimistic that you'll still be together, and even stronger, yet there is the possibility that it's really over. It's the moment of truth (whether there's still love left, and there's still the willingness to work it through) but what I'd like to believe is...

The truth shall set you free.