Getting attached
The last time I got attached feels like a huge mistake. And yet I haven't even given myself an actual definition of what attachment was.
So it most likely means being close to the point where one cannot imagine life without the other. In a way, it feels like two people are one. When they just keep thinking about the other. You know, all that bullshit.
One of the most surefire ways for a girl to get attached is to have sex with her and give her a reason to sleep with you because you're a great guy to spend time with. She will most likely come out unscathed without attachment if you give her no reason to be, or she just wants the consummation, nothing else. I don't know why it happens, but it does, and that's why religion demonizes sex so much because it really can hurt lots of people when it leads to lopsided attachments. Advice for men: don't give her anything that could make her think there's something more, like a relationship beyond friendship. Advice for women: Constantly re-evaluate your reasons for sleeping with someone and act on them accordingly.
Another way is to spend a lot of time with her. She will not forget the time you spend with her and remember that time down to every last detail. If the time spent makes her feel good, she'll use the time spent with another for her strokes and pretty much find it difficult to go through life happy without the time spent with the other.
To be honest, I'm freaking out that I may be getting attached to a friend. He's instant laughter, a South Campus brain and someone who knows how to coax others out of their shyness when they're trying something new (read: non-judgmental). Then again, I may only be noticing attachment for its own sake, because I don't really get attached to men as much as I do with women. Oh the confusion.
Conclusion: I like him as a friend and the intense obsession over the nature of my attachment subsided days after freaking out over it. I guess this one is an okay attachment. I'll only start freaking out if he writes a song...
So it most likely means being close to the point where one cannot imagine life without the other. In a way, it feels like two people are one. When they just keep thinking about the other. You know, all that bullshit.
One of the most surefire ways for a girl to get attached is to have sex with her and give her a reason to sleep with you because you're a great guy to spend time with. She will most likely come out unscathed without attachment if you give her no reason to be, or she just wants the consummation, nothing else. I don't know why it happens, but it does, and that's why religion demonizes sex so much because it really can hurt lots of people when it leads to lopsided attachments. Advice for men: don't give her anything that could make her think there's something more, like a relationship beyond friendship. Advice for women: Constantly re-evaluate your reasons for sleeping with someone and act on them accordingly.
Another way is to spend a lot of time with her. She will not forget the time you spend with her and remember that time down to every last detail. If the time spent makes her feel good, she'll use the time spent with another for her strokes and pretty much find it difficult to go through life happy without the time spent with the other.
To be honest, I'm freaking out that I may be getting attached to a friend. He's instant laughter, a South Campus brain and someone who knows how to coax others out of their shyness when they're trying something new (read: non-judgmental). Then again, I may only be noticing attachment for its own sake, because I don't really get attached to men as much as I do with women. Oh the confusion.
Conclusion: I like him as a friend and the intense obsession over the nature of my attachment subsided days after freaking out over it. I guess this one is an okay attachment. I'll only start freaking out if he writes a song...
Labels: Advice column
posted by Dawn at 9:27 PM
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