The Other Girl

What women should learn about men: Men are hunters when the situation presses it.
What men should learn about women: Most women see any kind of closeness as something that's shared, not only taken.

Sure, it can apply vice versa, but the approach to this kind of conflict will undoubtedly be different between the sexes. I'm talking about infidelity or anything that may come off as it. How can some guys get close to another girl and honestly say they still care about their girlfriend?

Truth be told, Dr. Phil is actually a god when it comes to this. Here's an excerpt from Oprah's magazine: "There is definitely a double standard with men when it comes to fidelity. If they are having an extramarital affair or an extra-relational affair, they'll probably look at it as if they are going and taking something from a woman, not giving something of themselves away. There's no emotional investment there."

Well, he talked about something else. If one feels deprived of something in a relationship, he or she will look for it, either by talking out the concerns with those that matter, or by finding other people to fill that void in their own relationship. The difference lies in how men and women go about responding to whatever kind of void they have in their relationships.

When I look back on what's happened to me, turns out I've been the other girl quite a bit. I was simply used for the intellectual connection and recently, sex. In my junior year I met someone noticeably intelligent, someone I was actually intimidated of. And yet he told me he enjoys talking to me (those intelligent conversations and whatnot) and freely mentioned his girlfriend. Needless to say I ended that with "you cad!"

It sucks to be the other girl. It sucks to be prey too. No wonder I felt so used, that I gave myself away for nothing in return. In the end I can just say, "ugh, guys." Or I can make sure I'm not easy prey again.