Chemistry is a tough subject
...even when it comes to matters of love and attraction.
I love it when I hit it off very well with a guy I just met, and it wasn't because we've been drinking or anything. For all I know, situations that fall into that aformentioned description, aka instant chemistry, is a peculiar thing to deal with. Chemistry is subject to lightning-fast affairs and unpredictable days after. At least that's what I learned this week.
So my cousin had a debut. I met a family friend, and he's about the one person that I talked a whole lot to for most of the night. Long conversations to me already spell out "you're wonderful." Some of the things that I do wish happened are too embarrassing to put here, and maybe it's bothering the guy that we have no direct means of contact/communication, even though it's so easy to just ask someone we both know for each others' cell # or sn. Okay, is it too fast to regret there not being a goodnight kiss? I'm mixed on that, because if it did happen, what next after that? Which leads me to the next thought: what's the next time we meet gonna be like? Will it be awkward, will this residual chemistry (that makes at least one party ceaselessly obsess) carry through, and will it work out?
I just don't trust chemistry enough to reap the benefits of it granting a short-lived rush of joy. They're like one night stands in a way, leaving those with morals and a conscience to feel cheap and tawdry afterwards. Just like the physical science, the nature of the bonds in chemistry, their formation and their breaks, are multi-faceted and require some studying in order to do well in it. Right now I just hate studying it, even though I feel like I want to just to quell this aching curiosity of what might have happened and what can happen.
I love it when I hit it off very well with a guy I just met, and it wasn't because we've been drinking or anything. For all I know, situations that fall into that aformentioned description, aka instant chemistry, is a peculiar thing to deal with. Chemistry is subject to lightning-fast affairs and unpredictable days after. At least that's what I learned this week.
So my cousin had a debut. I met a family friend, and he's about the one person that I talked a whole lot to for most of the night. Long conversations to me already spell out "you're wonderful." Some of the things that I do wish happened are too embarrassing to put here, and maybe it's bothering the guy that we have no direct means of contact/communication, even though it's so easy to just ask someone we both know for each others' cell # or sn. Okay, is it too fast to regret there not being a goodnight kiss? I'm mixed on that, because if it did happen, what next after that? Which leads me to the next thought: what's the next time we meet gonna be like? Will it be awkward, will this residual chemistry (that makes at least one party ceaselessly obsess) carry through, and will it work out?
I just don't trust chemistry enough to reap the benefits of it granting a short-lived rush of joy. They're like one night stands in a way, leaving those with morals and a conscience to feel cheap and tawdry afterwards. Just like the physical science, the nature of the bonds in chemistry, their formation and their breaks, are multi-faceted and require some studying in order to do well in it. Right now I just hate studying it, even though I feel like I want to just to quell this aching curiosity of what might have happened and what can happen.
Labels: Crush chronicles
posted by Dawn at 11:49 PM
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