Rebound relationships
There is a reason why it's not a good idea. Actually, tons. There ARE reasons why it's not good.
I can't speak for every person on the rebound, but there are characteristics that are endemic to rebound relationships:
Rebound relationships are usually very fast, as if getting quickly to that ideal level of closeness will be proof positive that maybe this new relationship in particular will stick. It's a warp in the rationale towards building a solid commitment. Take for example, passing through several toll roads and checkpoints along a road. These checkpoints are crucial, but to the desperate (rebounding included), they are roadblocks and barricades that threaten the success of starting any new relationship. It's a waste of time to stop at each checkpoint, pull out your money and pay the toll in order to keep on going.
In a relationship, it's better to bide your time before getting attached to the wrong person.
In other words, these checkpoints are godsends! Everybody deserves to know exactly what they're getting into because their future happiness is at stake. It's never too late to bail out if you witness a deal breaker before committing.
There's a huge difference in the perception of "taking time." Taking time means ironing out all the risks, providing a good adjustment period, and incrementally assessing compatibility. Rebounding runs the risks of pulling out all the stops out of fear that one stop will be the stop that ends the potential pocket of happiness.
To put it bluntly, rebounders are more likely to be sissies to the kind of emotional rigor that relationships require. They're raw, they're still hurt. Chances are the first letdown or screwup in the new relationship will send them running. You can't blame them though, because it hurts. By a thousand. But for those who find themselves getting involved with someone on the rebound, it sets up unexpected hurt. They're left helplessly dependent on the rebounder's decision, and whether or not the rebounder has given much thought into learning from the last relationship. It continues the chain of hurt from one person to the next.
Usually, for people who just got out of a relationship, he or she would be all about their friends. It's a good step to take in order to heal. I mean, if you got stuck in a dead end tunnel or some cliff where it's "Not a Through Street," would you keep flooring your car into the wall of the tunnel or continue to drive off the cliff? If so, then that's what jumping into another relationship does. Where's the chance that you'll land safely onto another street like in those action movies?
Rebound relationships are like paper houses. There's no foundation, and if there was, chances are it hasn't even fully dried yet, and the first disaster or semblance of a disaster, it blows away.
I'd much rather have a home, built on love alone.
I can't speak for every person on the rebound, but there are characteristics that are endemic to rebound relationships:
Rebound relationships are usually very fast, as if getting quickly to that ideal level of closeness will be proof positive that maybe this new relationship in particular will stick. It's a warp in the rationale towards building a solid commitment. Take for example, passing through several toll roads and checkpoints along a road. These checkpoints are crucial, but to the desperate (rebounding included), they are roadblocks and barricades that threaten the success of starting any new relationship. It's a waste of time to stop at each checkpoint, pull out your money and pay the toll in order to keep on going.
In a relationship, it's better to bide your time before getting attached to the wrong person.
In other words, these checkpoints are godsends! Everybody deserves to know exactly what they're getting into because their future happiness is at stake. It's never too late to bail out if you witness a deal breaker before committing.
There's a huge difference in the perception of "taking time." Taking time means ironing out all the risks, providing a good adjustment period, and incrementally assessing compatibility. Rebounding runs the risks of pulling out all the stops out of fear that one stop will be the stop that ends the potential pocket of happiness.
To put it bluntly, rebounders are more likely to be sissies to the kind of emotional rigor that relationships require. They're raw, they're still hurt. Chances are the first letdown or screwup in the new relationship will send them running. You can't blame them though, because it hurts. By a thousand. But for those who find themselves getting involved with someone on the rebound, it sets up unexpected hurt. They're left helplessly dependent on the rebounder's decision, and whether or not the rebounder has given much thought into learning from the last relationship. It continues the chain of hurt from one person to the next.
Usually, for people who just got out of a relationship, he or she would be all about their friends. It's a good step to take in order to heal. I mean, if you got stuck in a dead end tunnel or some cliff where it's "Not a Through Street," would you keep flooring your car into the wall of the tunnel or continue to drive off the cliff? If so, then that's what jumping into another relationship does. Where's the chance that you'll land safely onto another street like in those action movies?
Rebound relationships are like paper houses. There's no foundation, and if there was, chances are it hasn't even fully dried yet, and the first disaster or semblance of a disaster, it blows away.
I'd much rather have a home, built on love alone.
posted by Dawn at 12:52 PM
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