Friends first?
Ever had somebody advise you that the best relationship start out as good friendships?
True, it implies that you've known so much about the other person, what they like and don't like, their quirks, their reactions to life's problems, all of those things that are actually useful for maintaining a harmonious long-term relationship and possibly marriage. When you've been friends with someone before you dated them, then you're more likely to really love them for who they are, all that you've seen since that long time ago when you first met them. On the other hand, for those who weren't friends and just dated from the get-go, getting to know one another is more pressured because it's implied that feelings are each others' responsibility, even though they don't have the instructions and the experience to teach them about the other person.
In a way, some things still change once two people get into a relationship, regardless of whether they were prior friends or not. They still have to iron out relationship expectations because of that obvious physical dimension that now emerges. Now there is responsibility and pressure to meet this "friend's" needs; who knows how much
stepping out of familiarity that takes?
And what happens when it doesn't work out? There's no undo button on a situation like that.
It is possible that one can lose that friendship and that kind of closeness forever. Bottom line: it's still risky, but even more so in some respects.
In the end, each relationship is unique and there is no one best way towards long-term stability. Friendship can be part of a relationship, and many argue that it's what makes it last. But a good friendship doesn't necessarily translate into a good romantic relationship, and the disparity can be shocking. Either way, the grass is always greener on the other side.
True, it implies that you've known so much about the other person, what they like and don't like, their quirks, their reactions to life's problems, all of those things that are actually useful for maintaining a harmonious long-term relationship and possibly marriage. When you've been friends with someone before you dated them, then you're more likely to really love them for who they are, all that you've seen since that long time ago when you first met them. On the other hand, for those who weren't friends and just dated from the get-go, getting to know one another is more pressured because it's implied that feelings are each others' responsibility, even though they don't have the instructions and the experience to teach them about the other person.
In a way, some things still change once two people get into a relationship, regardless of whether they were prior friends or not. They still have to iron out relationship expectations because of that obvious physical dimension that now emerges. Now there is responsibility and pressure to meet this "friend's" needs; who knows how much
stepping out of familiarity that takes?
And what happens when it doesn't work out? There's no undo button on a situation like that.
It is possible that one can lose that friendship and that kind of closeness forever. Bottom line: it's still risky, but even more so in some respects.
In the end, each relationship is unique and there is no one best way towards long-term stability. Friendship can be part of a relationship, and many argue that it's what makes it last. But a good friendship doesn't necessarily translate into a good romantic relationship, and the disparity can be shocking. Either way, the grass is always greener on the other side.
posted by Dawn at 12:50 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home