Is age only a number?

When I went to a law school info session, the Dean of Admissions had a creative way of combating the myth of law school admissions only being about numbers. She asked, "Would you choose a good marriage partner based on only two numbers, neither of them being their salary?"

So what would the two numbers most likely be? Age and I don't know, number of divorces? Anyways, age is a big thing. It holds me back. Sometimes I'd wonder how many years is too much. How many years before it becomes taboo, before the age gap triggers visceral reactions?

Originally, I had drafted this entry in January, not knowing that I'd run into a real-life encounter with this issue. Originally, I wrote this entry being primarily cautious about the ages of those I found myself attracted to. I worried about being a cougar, or looking for a father-figure substitute. You see, my crushes and the like usually consist of boys months younger and men over five years older than me. And after hearing firsthand accounts and "doing research" on a nine-year age gap, the best answer is that it really depends.

To answer the question, age really is just a number, only it just happens to be one that carries certain generalizations. They can be true, they can be wrong. Bottom line is, age is just a number, but the problems that may follow are another thing. My research shows that different ages imply different stages of life, one area that immediately warns that the two with an age gap may want different things at the moment; one wants to settle, the other still just wants to date around, for example. There is also an assumed power difference in which the younger person will feel pressured to be more submissive due to a relative lack of experience. The older person will have already been on the other side of certain things and can use experience to prove to the younger partner that it's not such a bad thing to rush up to their level. It gets problematic when playing catch-up with the older partner brings about regret, like no chance to experience young adulthood or differing interests. The very nature of this power difference also provides more chances for the older partner to take advantage of the younger partner in many ways. For one thing, it's easy for the older partner to lord their life experience and relative higher accomplishment in life as justification or excuse to dismiss the younger partner; the longer that goes on in the relationship, the younger one will feel like their partner never respects them or their opinions. It is also very easy for such a relationship to turn into one of control, much like the patterns existing in sexual and domestic violence. Overall, there are many things to consider, and because of that, a relationship with such an age gap has to be taken very slowly; one can never be too safe.

There is so much to look out for when there's an age gap. So why even pursue it? In my personal experience, I'm attracted to maturity; I value it so much because it is one of the things that shows that he won't pull something stupid on me. Older men tend to be more mature, but it really varies from person to person. As for being attracted to boys a few months younger than me, it's for superficial reasons and being able to have my way with them. They've got looks, they've got energy...need I say more? But just like pursuing any relationship in general, each age bracket has its own set of perks, problems and possibilities.