Secrets

People usually have a hard time keeping them. It gives otherwise everyday information a special label, turning it into a Pandora's box.

What is it about secret crushes that make it so difficult to keep?
I've had my share of forcing crushes...I call them pseudo-crushes, great guys that I'd like, but not like that. It doesn't have that genuine feel to it, like when I'd blush bad enough for it to show through my skin (which is quite a lot). And sometimes I'm content with just keeping it to myself. So what if it doesn't become a reality? At this point in my life, I'd rather wait right now.

I've been putting off this topic for such a long time that it's no longer secret. One person knows (you know who you are, you better keep it well!) I wasn't even sure of what I was feeling, until I started dissecting all those times when he could've talked to anybody else, but he talked to me. Knowing more and more about him is full of surprises, and some of them seem to be cosmically arranged. I really don't want to force it. He's grown to be somewhat of a confidante over a year, but it just happens so easily, not at a blinding and dazing speed. Feeling this way actually feels right; so right that I'm wondering what will be wrong.

I'm afraid. For all I know, Pandora's box will turn into a can of worms.