I'll Know

For a while, I started reading a blog written by a therapist who specializes in romantic relationships and marriages. She basically cites facets of relationships that I've eventually come to my own conclusions with. It's amazing to trace evolution, even when it's as simple as reading old entries. I've become this girl who originally just liked the thrill of crushes and potential likes into someone who longs for relationships that last. My first entry was just relishing in the reeling feelings of a possible reciprocated crush. And then, with lessons learned along the way, the opposite sex eventually proved itself to be serious business, seeing as how they possess the ability to break hearts, bruise egos and get very much inside. Like a game of capture the flag, I needed to know what I wanted, and to tread carefully getting it, making sure I come back in one piece. Of course, accomplishing the objective isn't easy; sometimes I get caught, and sometimes they steal things that belong to me, which becomes a war when they want something else. And when worse gets to worst, I have to rely on other people to bail myself out. The strategy always changes, but every step should be a lesson learned and fun.

I don't find it embarrassing to admit that I want to fall in love and have a good, healthy relationship that lasts. I want to get married, and I want that emotional cushion in that world that can be physically expressed. I'll know he is it-worth the time-when we're so compatible that we can communicate so well, and the chemistry is amazing-all the good stuff that everyone talks about. Sometimes it may seem like too much, but it's only the world proving itself how horrible it can be.