"You're probably the last of your friends to have sex...and the first to pretend you're pregnant."
It seems to me that girls can be unfairly labeled as sluts or prudes. Since when was it ever a one-or-the-other choice?
Now, people say that labels don't matter. But they exist, even if they're not overtly uttered. If a girl isn't being called an outright slut, being whispered about by onlookers as she passes by is practically the same thing. Sure, labels suck, but they're here in this world to stay and there's not a damn thing we can do about it. Goodness knows I've tried to fight it at one point in my life as well.
When I write this entry, it seems that one New York Times article has seen right through me. High school cut really deep with me; so deep, that I start thinking things that aren't really true about me. I, for one, have been called both. I had no sex life at the time, so why am I called that? Chances are, it's a form of social control within a group, maybe even a way to maintain a personal hierarchy. It probably has nothing to do with my sex life or my experience at all. Maybe, when my elitist personality seems to crush my friend, she can level the field by calling me a slut. You know, the one that hides all her craziness in a closet and only tells those incredibly interesting stories to her entitled friends?
Again, there are times when it shouldn't matter what other people think. But I really do believe it does matter. That advice should only be followed by those who have people who don't want them to commit suicide. How am I going to protect myself from male scum if I can't even decipher their intentions for even approaching me? How will I know when to draw a line and invite the good men with good intentions? That's why I think it matters quite a lot.
There are attachments to either label. Either way, it may aggravate or scare away guys. Guys would love a romp with someone who'll easily go to their place for that one night, but will they marry that kind of woman? And if the situation gets more desperate and pressing for men, then the prude card seems to scare women into believing that they'll be less and less desirable (the one guy who tells her that is already living proof).
I haven't even gone to touch the more important thing of all: going past the labels and finding out what I should be and what I should do. Poor women! Why an extended childhood called 'the teen years' was even created I don't know. It's cruel and unusual punishment. It's a painful decade where teenagers struggle with their sense of self, and for girls to worry a thousandfold more than boys how they should even handle their sexuality. What happens if they ignore it...if they bring a guy home every so often...or say one thing and do the other? How badly will either step taken affect their future?
See, I think that's what it is: ever since the 20s, even women call having sex 'a good time' too. And men know this, now able to add "you know you want to" to their arsenal of pick-up lines. It sucks because it's true. Scrape away her inhibitions, either through complete bullshit tactics like pretending to emotionally inch closer towards intimacy in such a short amount of time or alcohol and at some point she won't fight or she will become willing. Bottom line: there are a lot of women who enjoy sex too. It's the implication of being a 'slut' that make them feel like they want something forbidden.
Don't ask me my number of partners. It'll be quite an unusual surprise.
Now, people say that labels don't matter. But they exist, even if they're not overtly uttered. If a girl isn't being called an outright slut, being whispered about by onlookers as she passes by is practically the same thing. Sure, labels suck, but they're here in this world to stay and there's not a damn thing we can do about it. Goodness knows I've tried to fight it at one point in my life as well.
When I write this entry, it seems that one New York Times article has seen right through me. High school cut really deep with me; so deep, that I start thinking things that aren't really true about me. I, for one, have been called both. I had no sex life at the time, so why am I called that? Chances are, it's a form of social control within a group, maybe even a way to maintain a personal hierarchy. It probably has nothing to do with my sex life or my experience at all. Maybe, when my elitist personality seems to crush my friend, she can level the field by calling me a slut. You know, the one that hides all her craziness in a closet and only tells those incredibly interesting stories to her entitled friends?
Again, there are times when it shouldn't matter what other people think. But I really do believe it does matter. That advice should only be followed by those who have people who don't want them to commit suicide. How am I going to protect myself from male scum if I can't even decipher their intentions for even approaching me? How will I know when to draw a line and invite the good men with good intentions? That's why I think it matters quite a lot.
There are attachments to either label. Either way, it may aggravate or scare away guys. Guys would love a romp with someone who'll easily go to their place for that one night, but will they marry that kind of woman? And if the situation gets more desperate and pressing for men, then the prude card seems to scare women into believing that they'll be less and less desirable (the one guy who tells her that is already living proof).
I haven't even gone to touch the more important thing of all: going past the labels and finding out what I should be and what I should do. Poor women! Why an extended childhood called 'the teen years' was even created I don't know. It's cruel and unusual punishment. It's a painful decade where teenagers struggle with their sense of self, and for girls to worry a thousandfold more than boys how they should even handle their sexuality. What happens if they ignore it...if they bring a guy home every so often...or say one thing and do the other? How badly will either step taken affect their future?
See, I think that's what it is: ever since the 20s, even women call having sex 'a good time' too. And men know this, now able to add "you know you want to" to their arsenal of pick-up lines. It sucks because it's true. Scrape away her inhibitions, either through complete bullshit tactics like pretending to emotionally inch closer towards intimacy in such a short amount of time or alcohol and at some point she won't fight or she will become willing. Bottom line: there are a lot of women who enjoy sex too. It's the implication of being a 'slut' that make them feel like they want something forbidden.
Don't ask me my number of partners. It'll be quite an unusual surprise.
posted by Dawn at 1:35 PM
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